Our Story
Susan’s Story
{Josh and Jenn}
Haven of Hope Ministries was founded in 2003 after the tragic death of my father, my eight year old son Joshua and my seven year old daughter Jennifer.
On November 30, 2002 my life as I had known it was changed forever. I was a single mother in nursing school when the accident happened. As you can imagine, my life was pretty busy and at times chaotic. I will never forget the feeling of walking back into my house after their death for the first time and being overwhelmed by the deafening silence. Just thinking about it now hurts my heart.
After the funeral everyone that still had a “normal” returned to whatever that was for them. Me……I had no idea what “normal” was anymore.
It certainly was not sitting in a house that was not full of laughter, talking, and yes even arguing. It was not sitting alone with nowhere to go. I felt alone and, quite honestly, cheated. While I had a strong relationship with the Lord, I was continually stricken with the unfairness of it all. This certainly was not the life I had planned.
As the days and weeks passed by, I thought I was the only one suffering this way and seriously did not think anyone else could understand what I was going through. It was a very dark time in my life, yet God was faithful. I was an undefinable ball of emotions, crying one minute, angry the next… none of it made sense to me. I could be walking through the grocery store and see something that would trigger a new flood of tears. I got to where I would only go to the grocery store in the middle of the night so that I would not run into anyone I knew.
I thought I was going crazy.
I did not know that what I was feeling was normal until I sat across from another mother and heard that she had gone through the same emotions. I remember thinking “WHAT?? this is normal!” What a relief to know I was not going crazy.
A few months after the death of my children, my Associate Pastor called me and asked if I would be interested in going to a conference in Palm Springs. I thought “Why not?”, I needed some time away after all. When I walked into that room, there were seventy women there that I had an instant bond with.
I did not have to explain what it was like losing a child, they all knew.
We were from all walks of life and all ages, but we had that common bond.
Through that weekend and the prayers of many, I came home realizing that I was not alone. Out of this passion that no mother should walk this path alone, Haven of Hope was born.
Why the name Haven of Hope?
Well, it is through the promises of God and the testimonies of others that I found my HOPE. And it gives me the security that I will one day see my children again… but until then, I have a mission.
God is not yet done writing my story. I look forward to the future while holding dear to the past.
Many of you can relate to most or all of what you have read. If you would like additional information or resources, please contact us by clicking on the contact link.
~Susan Gray
Daisy’s Story
{Mason Cole Thiebaud}
On December 5th, 2006 my precious five year old son died suddenly, and unexpectedly. My life before that time had been peppered with grief experiences including the deaths of my father and two of my siblings. While I was certainly familiar with the grief process, nothing could have prepared me for the loss of my own child.
Mason was a charming, bright-eyed boy with all the wonder of an unspent life ahead of him. He was a joy to have, even if it was only for a while, and I will spend the rest of my life on earth trying to fill in the missing pieces of this time without him. It has often been said that raising a child should come with an instruction book. For me, raising my children came naturally. What I was not prepared for was the death of my child. I wasn’t sure I would survive. I remember thinking to myself that if the pain I felt continued, I would somehow…just cease to live.
Even before Mason’s funeral, people began to share their experiences of child loss with me. Some recent, some many years ago. I was intrigued by their need to share their experience, and I began to realize that all these people shared a common desire to offer encouragement to me and my husband. They wanted to let us know that we could survive the brutal experience of child loss.
But not one of them who truly encouraged me ever did so without pointing me to God’s word.
In the months that followed, I realized that my instruction book was the Bible and it contained all I needed to know about grief and surviving the death of a child. When I felt sorry for myself, God pointed out Matthew 5:45, and reminded me that I didn’t deserve the joys of this life any more than I deserved the sorrows. When I felt sad, God gave me Psalm 30:5. When I wondered about his plan he gave me Jeremiah 29:11. When I questioned why I had to suffer he revealed 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4. I could go on and on about how God’s word met my every need during my time of great sorrow.
I’ve also learned the value of forming friendships with godly women farther ahead of me in the journey of grief. It is important to surround yourself with people who will offer sound advice, listen appropriately, and pray for you.
Every mother who loses a beloved child will experience grief. We have little choice in that matter. Grieving well and continuing to live with a purpose is very much our choice.
To live out our grief with faith is not the same as being strong. In fact, 2 Corinthians 12:9 says that His grace is sufficient for you, His power is made perfect in your weakness. Weakness leads to surrender. And it is in surrendering….not understanding that we find peace.
The absence of Mason means that there will always be a missing piece in my life. But I will press on with hope, knowing that I will hold him again. In the meantime, I choose to grieve well and live out this life with a purpose.
~Daisy Thiebaud
Marsha’s Story
{Christian Edward Drews}
Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever.